IITian and First Love

It was a night I won’t ever forget in my life. I was going back to my home town from the college for winter vacations; waiting for the bus to Delhi along with a friend on bus stop. I was in my second year and my mind was still wandering into depths of probability theory and c++ programming.

One thing that I completely forgot while standing at the bus stop was that ‘It’s a curse if you miss a girl which your friend has seen’. You will be tortured for rest of your time in the college for that crime (irrespective of the looks of the girl). I was reminded of that eternal crime when I felt a cool breeze brushing my face and leaves flying all around (damn that movie ‘Mohabbatein’). I turned around and it was then I saw her almost coming out of vacuum and landing exactly 2.69 m from my vertical 2D surface. My heart beat started falling like my grades in that semester and I kept watching her in such bewilderment as if I had been awarded ‘A+’ in physics. If I was in space I would have flown myself into her vicinity in no time (Gravity literally ‘sucks’ man). I didn’t even realize when that love virus broke my firewall, entered into my hardware and corrupted all of my software. If all this wasn’t enough, that virus had also installed malicious AGO (Ask a Girl Out) software which no IITian has ever been able to install in their hardware (not even the pirated version). I was on the verge of executing that AGO program when I noticed my friend trying to execute advanced version of the same software. I dared him for a game of ‘Mortal Combat’ (damn I should have practiced it better) without even realizing he was one of those ‘jack of all trades master of no grades’ 5 pointer. I said ‘mere paas grades hain, CGPA hai, professor ki recommendation hai, tere paas kya hai??’. He replied with quite a crooked n proud smile ‘I went out with a girl on a date once’. I was out of all sorts like an Indian batsman by that bouncer, although later I found out that even her boyfriend was present on that date.

Finally we decided to leave it all on fate as both of us had no idea how to approach a girl even after reading ‘Learn how to flirt in 21 days’ at least 10 times. We simply started to stare and notice her each and every move and we were so excited while doing that, as if we were trying to get a result in one of those chemistry practical. After a long time, inevitably our eyes were in the same horizontal plane and some sort of sparks started flying somewhere, as if our eyes had seen some alien. Both of us couldn’t take so much of heat and pressure exerted by alien forces and we had to take our eyes off her. At least we had achieved something to brag about for a long time in the college, that we saw a species named ‘girl’ directly in the eye. Both of us were giggling inside as if no one caught us while cheating in the exam. But then something unexpected happened which neither of us would have ever even dreamt of. She wasn’t just looking at us but also started walking towards us with some sort of a divine smile.

We were in a territory where no IITian has ever been; we felt as if our time has come, we are soon to be treated like GOD back in college, we’ll be giving part-time classes on dating soon and those idiots will prepare notes, tutorials and reports for us. Finally, curse will be lifted on all IITians and we will excel in this area too. We won’t have those signs in college festivals ‘Dogs and IITians not allowed’ anymore, we will be able to include a term called ‘girlfriend’ in our dictionary and even our phone bills will start touching skies. She was getting closer and we were standing in an upright position as if our NCC commander was approaching to kick our butts. Her glow literally blinded me and my heart started to fill with all those mushy emotions.

I was reminded of chapter 7 of ‘Learn how to flirt…’ explaining in detail some mysterious topics as love at first sight, first love, eternal love and much more. I should have solved question no. 2 at the end of chapter 7 ‘What would you do when a girl starts talking to you’. Damn it!! I can’t even cheat now; in fact right now I am in competition with my own friend and an IITian can never afford to loose any competition. It was survival of the fittest, chance of a lifetime, moment of glory and I dared to put a step forward towards her before my friend could even try to talk to her. I was able to feel my each and every heart-beat, I was sweating, I was shivering, and I still wasn’t able to believe all this was happening in real world. It was her who took the first step, came close to me and whispered those words in my ear ‘2000 loongi, chalega kya?’..

Two Words

I turned to look back but I couldn’t find her, I tried to shout but words didn’t come out. I just stood there hoping she will come back but I should have known it was all over. I wanted to leave but had no idea where to go. I had missed my last chance and I was left with just two words “what if”.

It was couple of years back when I saw her for the first time. She was one of my colleagues in the company and was one of those reserved, conservative and arrogant looking geeky girls whom you won’t find a reason to say a single word to until they crash and spill coffee all over you. Well, that’s how we first met and had a wonderful conversation where she said “sorry” and I said “its fine”. After that I started keeping even more distance from her.

It was a Friday night when against all my wishes I was slogging till 11 in the night. I was about to leave on my bike when I saw her sitting outside our office. She had hurt her leg and wasn’t able to move. Luckily we had a clinic nearby which was open at that time; I got her treated there and dropped her home. That’s how we first ‘officially’ started talking to each other.

I never knew when those occasional greetings converted to frequent conversations and we started spending a lot of time together. I had no idea this never-talk-to-anyone-in-public kinda girl had so much to say, to an extent that I had to shut her up most of the time. We had nothing in common and we used to fight for everything but still we were the first person around each other when-ever needed. I didn’t even realize when I started having irrepressible feelings for her. I was aware of the fact that she belonged to a highly conservative family and though I didn’t care about any of that but I wasn’t even sure if she felt the same way.

I distinctly remember it was a Sunday afternoon and I was still sleeping when I got her call. For a moment I felt like disconnecting saying ‘wrong number’ but then I recognized it was her behind that deep dull voice. She was leaving for her hometown and asked me if I could drop her to the airport. I wasn’t aware of her plans but had no time to think of anything either. At airport, she was almost completely silent and also had sore eyes but then I thought it must have been due to lack of sleep. It was then she broke the news that her parents had fixed her marriage and she is leaving to finalize the engagement date. I felt like being in a bad dream from which I will wake up in few moments but that never happened. I just stood there and couldn’t say a single word after that. She just grabbed her luggage, said ‘good bye’, turned back and went inside the terminal and I was left with just two words “what if”. What if I had enough courage to express my feelings, what if she had felt the same way about me, what if she was waiting for me to take the first step, what if I had tried to stop her….

I started taking those heavy steps to get back home but they just got heavier with each step. I tried to console myself but nothing came to my mind. It was then I realized how much I loved her and had just lost my last chance to tell her that. Then I just sat there for a long time trying to sink in the feeling of what had happened. Suddenly, I felt someone coming near me and heard two words whispered in my ears. When I turned back I saw her running back with tears in her eyes. She had said “forgive me”.

Note: I am not the protagonist….