Two Words

I turned to look back but I couldn’t find her, I tried to shout but words didn’t come out. I just stood there hoping she will come back but I should have known it was all over. I wanted to leave but had no idea where to go. I had missed my last chance and I was left with just two words “what if”.

It was couple of years back when I saw her for the first time. She was one of my colleagues in the company and was one of those reserved, conservative and arrogant looking geeky girls whom you won’t find a reason to say a single word to until they crash and spill coffee all over you. Well, that’s how we first met and had a wonderful conversation where she said “sorry” and I said “its fine”. After that I started keeping even more distance from her.

It was a Friday night when against all my wishes I was slogging till 11 in the night. I was about to leave on my bike when I saw her sitting outside our office. She had hurt her leg and wasn’t able to move. Luckily we had a clinic nearby which was open at that time; I got her treated there and dropped her home. That’s how we first ‘officially’ started talking to each other.

I never knew when those occasional greetings converted to frequent conversations and we started spending a lot of time together. I had no idea this never-talk-to-anyone-in-public kinda girl had so much to say, to an extent that I had to shut her up most of the time. We had nothing in common and we used to fight for everything but still we were the first person around each other when-ever needed. I didn’t even realize when I started having irrepressible feelings for her. I was aware of the fact that she belonged to a highly conservative family and though I didn’t care about any of that but I wasn’t even sure if she felt the same way.

I distinctly remember it was a Sunday afternoon and I was still sleeping when I got her call. For a moment I felt like disconnecting saying ‘wrong number’ but then I recognized it was her behind that deep dull voice. She was leaving for her hometown and asked me if I could drop her to the airport. I wasn’t aware of her plans but had no time to think of anything either. At airport, she was almost completely silent and also had sore eyes but then I thought it must have been due to lack of sleep. It was then she broke the news that her parents had fixed her marriage and she is leaving to finalize the engagement date. I felt like being in a bad dream from which I will wake up in few moments but that never happened. I just stood there and couldn’t say a single word after that. She just grabbed her luggage, said ‘good bye’, turned back and went inside the terminal and I was left with just two words “what if”. What if I had enough courage to express my feelings, what if she had felt the same way about me, what if she was waiting for me to take the first step, what if I had tried to stop her….

I started taking those heavy steps to get back home but they just got heavier with each step. I tried to console myself but nothing came to my mind. It was then I realized how much I loved her and had just lost my last chance to tell her that. Then I just sat there for a long time trying to sink in the feeling of what had happened. Suddenly, I felt someone coming near me and heard two words whispered in my ears. When I turned back I saw her running back with tears in her eyes. She had said “forgive me”.

Note: I am not the protagonist….