God, Satan and Me

Me: heyy God,, how is life ?

God: I think I should ask you this question ;) Just kidding man, it isn’t as easy up there as you might think these days. It’s been one of the worst recession times you know. It’s getting harder to retain people in heaven. I take a good soul from heaven and you know what it just lands up in hell after some time. Ask Satan, he is simply having a blast these days.

Satan: Oh yeah, this guy is right. I don’t even have to move a muscle; it’s like heaven in hell ;)

God: Good one satan :)

Satan: Thanks God..

Me: Hmm I can understand God, I can totally understand. So, I hear you guys are planning to spend vacations in India soon.

Satan: We were simply tired of all the problems you know. God is troubled with incompetent soul makers, those guys are just so under-performing..

God: Yeah, Satan is right.. I am even planning to outsource this work.. It’s so hard to find good people..

Satan: And I am simply pissed off at every suicide bomber coming to hell and asking for 72 virgins.. I mean come-on give me a break,, if I had so many virgins in hell who would call this place hell.. It’s just plain common sense. God, please do something, hell is getting over-crowded, you got to help me out here.

God: I am trying Satan, I am trying hard.. Anyways, back to our vacation plans. Both of us were so tired handling/mis-handling this world, we thought of taking a break. And what place better than India, it just makes so much sense financially; everything so cheap and all. And how can I forget bollywood, love those movies, can’t stop laughing you know. I mean I give people mind and it’s so damn funny to see how they just forget to use it.

Satan: And I love that guy what’s the name, sa ruk ruk kaan or something.

Me: I think you mean shahrukh khan

Satan: Oh yeah same guy shahrukh khan.. He has been my ambassador in India for such a long time now. I am so impressed by him,, such a hard worker. Makes movies full of crap and still convince people to pay for it,, genius simply genius.

God: Yeah Satan, you beat me there. He was my ambassador when he started, I was so proud of that lad, I think your another deputy farah khan ruined him.

Satan: You got that right God.

God: And I just love that dish, oh what’s the name, hang on, ahmmm,, 'gatar paani'.

Me: I think you mean 'matar paneer'.

God: Oh yeah exactly, that’s what it was, just love that thing.

Satan: Oh come on God, give me a break with that junk. You got to taste butter chicken sometime in India. It’s so delicious and far better than the one prepared by our chef.. I am tired of eating all that crap in hell, our chef simply over cooks everything.. Well, can’t blame him too, given all the fire in hell.

God: Gotcha Satan,, our chef is an Indian.. Don’t worry I will try to convince Mrs. God for inviting you over for dinner. She is still so mad for the last time, when you burnt all the new curtains she got from Dubai, with your aura..

Satan: Yeah, I am still so sorry for that God.. That’s the reason Mrs. Satan wouldn’t let me sit on her new sofa anymore :( 

To be continued..