15th May 2007
I am standing in the middle of a bangalore rain, not sure for how long and for what reason. These are my first rains without her in last four years. May be that’s what I want, may be I don’t, but all I know is one thing, I don’t care anymore. There is no pain, no feelings at all; it’s just me in peace with myself.
I know she is there comfortably sleeping in her home completely oblivious of the feelings (rather absence of them) I am going through. When I saw her for the first time, all I noticed were those innocent eyes, filled with love and a heart so fragile that I felt like protecting from everyone else for rest of my life. When ever I passed by her, I felt like some part of myself being left behind all the time. I was losing my self with every passing moment. I still distinctly remember the day when I first talked to her, as that was the day when I called all my friends to inform that my life has changed. Today, I feel like calling them once again to let know that I have got my life back.
I used to feel like being in paradise (what-ever and where-ever that is) with her. We used to walk late-nights, had the same taste of food, and used to dance in rains (well, used to fall sick after that). Every second without her felt like a second of life wasted. I wanted to pour all my love on her, I wanted to take care of her all my life, I used to dream both of us living in a world full of love and affection, devoid of any kind of hatred. But then dreams are dreams, unreal, illogical and meant to be forgotten. I don’t know whether I am in touch with reality now but I know one thing, I am not dreaming anymore.
It’s never the words that hurt you the most; it’s rather absence of them. Expectations are the root of all pains; those who believe in dreams expect the most. I came to know of this the harder way but right now my mind is free from all worries and pains. I guess I had lost ‘myself’ somewhere in between but now I have got it back. I am not alone anymore and will never be.
I pray she fulfills all the dreams in her life. I pray I don’t dream anymore.
PS: I am not the protagonist..
Saturday, July 21, 2007
Not another love story
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4 comments:
give my congrats to your friend for learning the beautiful mystery of love... for learning that love is not only about getting what you want..
sometimes the journey is more pleasurable than the destination
i got my life back
Is is really your friend or is it you?? :)
Say to your frend.....love is like standing in flowing water....every moment tht passess is different one....a unique lovely feeling...but the fact remains it will flow...it can't be static...and thats were the most beautiful thing in life is born "memories"...so he is lucky to hav all those memories....wishing him all these and many more...
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